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"Kavannah for Living"

Unit 1

Going to Sleep

(If you miss a study unit along the way, you can access the materials in the Kavannah for Living Archive: archive.)

B’rucheem haba’im, chevrah. Welcome to the conversation!

Dear Chevra,

What we are about to embark upon together is not your traditional "on-line course" – if such things can be classified as traditional at this point in time. The trigger pieces for the work we will be doing together in this "seminar" –- which will appear on the site and be emailed to you every other week -- will usually consist of two basic elements. The first will be a "ritual resource" that endeavors to bring Reb Zalman’s ideas to a wider audience. The second will be a more extended treatment of the central themes that the "ritual resource" engages, gleaned from conversations with Reb Zalman.

Today, with this first posting, we commence. Our first topic is Bedtime for Adults. The first part of this posting represents my attempt to develop Reb Zalman’s ideas on kriyat shema al ha'mitah for a wider audience. The second is an excerpt from my conversations with Zalman in which he treats the relevant themes in greater depth.

The key questions for us in this unit are:

HOW DO WE PREPARE OURSELVES FOR BED?

CAN KRIYAT SHEMA AL HA'MITAH BECOME A RESOURCE FOR YOU?

How do you prepare for bed? Is kriyat shema al ha'mita a resource for you? How do you use it? How might you use it? Do you teach it? Do you do it with your partner or your kids? If not, what do you do instead? Can you suggest a creative way to use it? In light of your own denominational (or non-denominational) perspective, what kavannah would you teach to your congregants about sleep?

Looking forward to hearing your feedback.

B’shalom,

Rabbi Daniel S. Brenner

Bedtime for Adults

Prelude:

In contemporary culture, sleep is something we "get" -- i.e., "Did you get eight hours?" or the usual response, "I got four hours." Far from being seen as a time of meditation, reflection, and rejuvenation, sleep is spoken of as "downtime," the part of our lives when we are not doing anything.

This is not to say that going to bed doesn't have its moments. There are times when we fall asleep cradled in the arms of the one we love, or drift off after a day's activities with a sense of peace and completion. Most nights, though, it seems that it has become standard to doze off in front of the T.V., or nod off while attempting to read one more sentence of the novel or magazine lying by the night stand.

It may be hard to imagine that many of our ancestors viewed sleep as a vital part of their spiritual lives -- a time when they were experiencing closeness to God, revelation of wisdom through dreams, and total rejuvenation of the spirit.

What has caused us to lose touch with this way of living?

In part, we have preserved our ancestors' traditions in the way children are tucked in. The stories, lullabies, night lights are all sending the message that sleep is a time of peace and protection. But for adults living in a time of security alarms and suburban safety, night-time protection may not seem as urgent as it once was. It is easy to forget that for our ancestors night was all too often a time when terror struck, intruders burst into homes, and noises cried out from the streets.

Though we do not face the dangers our ancestors did, we are faced with a new set of challenges at bedtime -- dealing with the anxiety that stems from living in a culture that loads our minds with information and moves at lightning speeds. It is no surprise that sleep disorders are rampant and the quick fixes that attempt to deal with them are a billion dollar a year industry.

A spiritual approach to sleep aims to counter our anxieties with a dose of self-transformation, something our ancestors recognized and wrote about. Take, for example, the following passage that was read before bedtime:

In this moment, I forgive those who have angered me, who have tried to diminish me, who have acted wrongly against me, concerning my body, my property, my honor, everything. Whether the people involved acted accidentally, willfully, or under the influence of other forces, I forgive everyone, and may no harm come to them from my reasoning.

This passage was written 1,500 years ago. It is not difficult to imagine the feelings of someone saying it. These words express a letting go of stress, guilt, and anger. This passage, and others like it, are at the heart of the kriyat shemah al ha'mitah, the "reading of the Shema on the bed," a short ritual said before sleep.

THE RITUAL: Kriyat Shema al ha'Mitah

The ritual is begun by preparing for bed in your usual manner. Take your shower or bath, brush your teeth, put on your pajamas or nightshirt, and then, when you have completed the tasks, take a moment to reflect on the readings found here.

"Review the day beginning with the last hour first. What did you do tonight? What was dinner like? Where were you this afternoon? Continue in this manner until you reach your waking moment."

-Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

Eternal Teacher, in this moment, I forgive those who have angered me, who have tried to diminish me, who have acted wrongly against me, concerning my body, my property, my honor, everything. Whether the people involved acted accidentally, willfully, or under the influence of other forces, I forgive everyone, and may no harm come to them from my reasoning.

May it be Your will that I refrain from hurtful acts. With mercy, erase my past mistakes, keep me from suffering. May the words of my mouth and meditations of my heart find favor before You, God, my Rock and my Redeemer.

-- Eliyah Rabbah, 5th century

"What conversation do you wish you could have again? How would you speak this time?"

-- Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

Blessed are You, God, who lays the bonds of sleep on my eyes, and slumber on my eyelids. May it be Your will, my God, and God of my ancestors, that you lay me down with a sense of peace, so that I will stand again with peace. Allow me to pass over any ideas that confound me, any disturbing dreams, or moments of anxiety. May my bed be peaceful before you. Awaken my eyes so that I do not die in my sleep, for you are the One who enlightens the eye. Blessed are You, the one who gives light to the world with honor.

-- Talmud, Berachot 60b

Place your right hand over your eyes as you concentrate on the following words:

Shema Yisrael Adonai Elohaynu Adonai Echad.
Listen Israel: Our God is One.

Continue with these selections:

Under arms you will be tucked, wings you will be protected -- a shield and armor. You shall not be afraid of the terror of the night, or of the arrows that fly by day.

(Psalm 91)

With my voice I call out to God, and I am answered from the holy mountain. I lay down to sleep, but am aware for God supports me.

(Psalm 3)

For protection, repeat the following three times:

In the name of the One, God of Israel, place at my right hand Michael, at my left Gabriel, before me Uriel, behind me Raphael, and above me Shechinah, El.

"Visualize placing your spirit, your breath into God's hands. In this way, we prepare for death each night as we place the soul in God's care."

-- Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi

My God is the source of life and redemption, a rock in times of distress. God is my vision and my refuge, my cup is filled when I call out. Into God's hand I place my spirit as I fall asleep, and I will find it when I awaken. With your spirit I place my body -for God is with me and I do not fear.

-- A 16th century Jewish poet:

CLAL � 2000

Commentary by Reb Zalman:

Before one goes to sleep, there is a time for chesbon hanefesh. Some have suggested that this be done by beginning from the morning and going through the day’s activities. I want to suggest an alternative model, one that was taught to me by Eve, my wife, which she learned from a friend who is a psychologist. She suggested that I begin with the evening, and then work backwards through the day. When I do it this way, I can more clearly recall my thoughts, actions, and conversations, and return to the moments of each day which need a tikkun. I go back to a conversation and ask myself—How could I have said such and such a thing better? How could I have judged l’caf zkut? I replay the conversation in my mind. What do I need to do t’shuvah for? Doing this kind of chesbon hanefesh is a precursor to saying b’yado afkeed ruchi—How can I be ready to make peace with this world? To be prepared for the next world as I go to sleep? This is the deeper question.

I used to say kriyat shema al ha'mitah with my clothes on, and my gartel wrapped around my waist. Now I like to say it when I am in bed, under the covers. There is a minhag that one shouldn’t talk after the hareyni mochel, but I find that the time in bed when you are with your partner is when the most intimate conversations happen. So it’s not right to be silent. It is nice, after you have spoken with your partner, to say a kriyat shema together.

For children, the most important part of doing the kriyat shema is to ask them how they are doing. What kind of day did you have? What did you think about today? This kind of check-in is something that I would try to do during the day when picking up the kids from school, but there is something about the night that makes this conversation different. The question is like a chesbon hanefesh for the children, and answering it gives them a sense of peace and protection.

When people think about t’shuvah for kriyat shema, they have a tendency to lump everything together. But there are different types of t’shuvah, just as there are different types of sin. On Yom Kippur, we say mazid, soggeg, ayn b’shoggeg, but this is also found in the words we have for sin -– chet, pesha, aveyrah, etc. So something you did out of a place of frustration and something you did from a sense of revenge -- there is a different type of t’shuvah for these things.

Adon Olam
(Translated by Reb Zalman Schachter-Shalomi)

You were cosmic Lord Adonay Malakh
Before there even was a world;
Then your will all things did make,
Adonay Melekh we call you now.

Once when all things will cease to be
Adonay Yimlokh still true will be;
You were, You are, eternally
Resplendent to infinity.

You alone, there are not two,
To join as friends, as lovers do.
Beginningless and without end,
You keep all one by plan and strength.

You are my G-d, Redeemer, Life,
Protecting me in war, in strife.
My holy haven and my flag,
My cup of health for what I lack.

Into Your hand I trust my breath,
Your breath in me by night and day.
My body is Your tool, Your gift.
With You as mine I’m not afraid.

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